Bullies and Adoption

              Adopted children, particularly internationally adopted children, will experience bullying.
              While at the theater to watch October Baby I saw the preview for the movie Bully. Today on Facebook, Families Supporting Adoption shared a link to an article about teaching our children about bullying. The article dealt with the issue of bullying in general.
              Adopted children will experience bullying and need parents who can help them learn how to respond. As parents, we need to even second guess things that may be said, so that we can prepare our kids. Some kids and adults do not understand why adoption is a good thing and why someone would want to adopt.
              Transracially adopted children may be bullied about their race or about their parents not looking like them. Learning to deal with racism and prejudice is something for which parents must prepare their children.
              Internationally adopted children might be one or more grade levels behind their same-age peers because of language learning or developmental delays. These children may get teased about being in a younger grade.

black-haired girl, black-haired rapunzel, transracially adopted
In my book Nine Year Pregnancy I tell a story about some verbal bullying my daughter received one day:
            Once while at a friend’s house, a boy Jade’s age told me in front of her, in a very nanny-nanny-boo-boo kind of voice, “I wasn’t adopted. I have a mom and dad.”
              I very quickly put him in his place and protected my daughter’s heart by responding, “I am so sorry. Your parents had no choice; they just got stuck with you. We chose Jade to be our daughter.”
              Perhaps that was a bit rough for him, but hopefully he discussed adoption with his parents and learned that it is not nice—or necessary—to tease a child for being adopted (from p.120).
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2 thoughts on “Bullies and Adoption

  1. My daughter is almost 12. Once, when she was 6, she was told by 2 children (the mother of one of them is an educator. :o( ), we don’t play with you because you’re too dark». She is a fair latino. It was the first and last (up to now) time it happened.

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