Mother’s Day often arrives packed with emotion. Our little princess breathes new meaning of Mother’s Day into our lives. On this special day each year, I must recognize my daughter has a need I can never fill.
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. 2 A time to be born and a time to die.…
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1-2,4 (NLT)
When I think about Mother’s Day and being a mom, I think about the joy and sacrifices of parenting all my children, however they came into my life.
When my daughter thinks about Mother’s Day, questions like these may come to her heart and mind consciously or sub-consciously:
- Who is this person I call mom and why doesn’t she look like me?
- Where is my birthmother? Is she still alive?
- Why did my birthmother leave me?
- I don’t want my adopted mother today, can’t I see my birthmother?
- Why did I have to be adopted? Maybe my birthmother would have come back for me.
- I want to grieve today, why does everyone expect me to be happy and celebrate?
- I wish I knew what my birthmother looks (looked) like. (Or, I am starting to forget what she looks like).
If you have recently brought a child into your home through adoption, seek to understand the bigger picture of what might be the cause behind a very emotional day.
- Some families find that celebrating Birthmother’s Day the day before Mother’s Day is a good way to help their child hold onto his or her heritage and grieve losses as well.
- I have heard of families lighting a candle for the birthmother, and other family members lighting candles for significant mother-like figures in their lives.
This is an excerpt from a post I wrote for America Adopts in 2012. See the full post:
Mother’s Day for an Adoptive Mother: A time to dance, a time to cry (which includes excerpts from Nine Year Pregnancy)
I Choose You (a poem about an adopted daughter and her mother)
Heart Tears (struggles adopted children face)
Reminders (a poem about waiting for receiving a child through adoption)